By: Erick Mejia
Chavoruco? That’s right, there comes a time when you look like the Steve Buscemi skateboarding meme with the skateboard and the cap backwards (if you don’t know what we’re talking about, be careful, this is the first sign that you are a kid) and that everything what you used to do before, is not appropriate for your age. Sure, sometimes the last to know is you. For this reason, we have prepared a list of 10 signs that you are a kid or are in the process of becoming one.
When you meet someone in a bar or party, they talk to you about “you”: And indeed, if your response is invariably “don’t talk to me about you”, you undoubtedly contribute to your inevitable ‘chavoruquez’. When the other people in the meeting or someone you’ve just been introduced to refers to you as “sir”, it means that you are already in those instances but you don’t want to accept it. Be careful: if you are barely 25 or 30 years old, you are a premature kid and you should do something for your image (we all have that friend who from high school already looked like a 48-year-old bank manager even though he was barely 17). If they call you “don” and you are offended, call yourself a chavoruco without objection. You make old jokes that nobody laughs at: s in current trends (which are not modern, wow) and nobody understands what is funny. In general, the kids either don’t know the new inclusion codes or are in tune with the current context and don’t realize when their jokes can be offensive. The worst thing is that they do not understand why no one celebrates their graces. Be careful: if you notice that after telling the joke that seemed irresistible there is an awkward silence —or even a bush like those in the desert passes—, you could be entering that category.
In your group of friends you are the oldest: Sure, you are the cool friend who invites the party and always has available credit on their cards, but face it, you are a kid. And it is that another of the clear signs that you belong to this guild, is that you are usually friends with people at least 5 years younger than you; So much so that sometimesin clubs or bars, they tend to think that you are the guy who went to take care of others (and who dances very well, yes). In some cases, there are kids infiltrating groups of friends up to a decade younger. You want to monopolize the music: Yes, and also you swear that yesterday’s music was better. Yes, you may be right, but nostalgia for popular culture and yesterday’s technology, if you are not a true hipster, classifies you as a kid who wants to listen to the usual and also believes that his tastes are better than those of others. others. And if you also malacopea, add extra points.
You lie about your age: You haven’t officially passed 35 for years and every birthday you lower your age (although the man you invited to the party and was your university classmate gives you away), so you’re a kid. Also, if you hide some signs about your true age, like when you use dyes for gray hair or to be cool. If you flat out enter TikTok at 42, you could undoubtedly be even the President of Chavorucos Anónimos A.C.You have or are looking for a partner who is almost twice your age: You tend to get excited with girls (or boys) who are at least 10 years older than you. The phrase “second wind” is a lifestyle for you
The chavorruca selfie: This adult with the soul of a child does not escape the new fashions (as it should be), but he uses certain tricks that reveal his chavoruquéz. For example, in addition to the inevitable botox that they apply without anyone noticing, they usually take selfies with dark glasses (to hide the years a bit) or with all the filters in the world to look more lush. Your way of speaking: Your vocabulary is made up of phrases from at least three decades, which may seem very normal to you, but which tends to confuse your interlocutors since you use outdated words and mix them indiscriminately with fashionable terms. Of course, nobody tells you, but sometimes it seems that you have been traveling from another decade. If you are familiar with phrases like “ok, maguey”, “de pelos”, “juega el pollo” or “serene, moreno”, you should already see what your asylum is about.
The chavoruco outfit: Yes, the chavoruco’s wardrobe is a strange but identifiable combination of clothes from various eras, without failing the faded rock band shirts and that they don’t dare to throw away. In general, the look is young “wannabe”, with fashionable clothes and very close, the eternal jean jeans and t-shirt. Many times, the kid usually lives with his parents, longs for the adolescent world and feels a need to fit in that is contradicted by his obvious nostalgia for “the better days.” Finally, do the following exercise: check your wallet or glove compartment of your car. If you bring any of the following, you are already part of the select club of the chavoruquéz: gastritis pills to take before going to a party, a compact disc to play at the meeting and of course, if you put phrases like “in a WhatsApp group” It’s already shabadaba, let’s go for drinks to see what “mamalón” plan there is for the “reven”, there is no doubt that you are a kid with a doctorate.
