By: Diana Arreola. Psychopedagogue
A resilient divorce occurs when:
- – WE AVOID FORMING TEAMS THAT PROMOTE PARENTAL ALIGNMENT: Forming teams “mom and children vs. dad” and vice versa promotes a GAME OF LOYALTIES that destroys and deteriorates ties. The children get involved in a mental and psychological confusion that ends up deteriorating the vision they have about themselves and their ability to relate.
- – We managed to separate the contract of PATERNITY vs MARRIAGE: This allows us to transfer the idea to our children that we are no longer a PARTNER but continue to be their PARENTS.
- – The news is communicated preserving the DIGNITY and RESPECT for the other: With no intention of minimizing or discrediting the life of the ex-partner. In the midst of the crisis and the pain that separation produces, ADOLESCENTS NEED to know that they have their father/mother who can GUIDE, CONTAIN AND ORIENT them.
- – I am willing to listen openly and empathically to my children’s doubts, sadness and disagreements regarding the separation: When I listen actively, without judgment or resistance. Teenagers will have several doubts regarding the separation of their parents. DOUBTS WILL ARRIVE AT DIFFERENT TIMES. It is important to help them understand and organize their EXPERIENCE IT IS NOT THE DIVORCE THAT AFFECTS THE LIVES OF THE CHILDREN, IT IS THE WAY THIS EXPERIENCE IS ORGANIZED AND TRANSLATES INTO THEIR LIFE STORIES.
